Are you unknowingly giving this Poison to your Children

Do you constantly feel that your child is not as good as the other kids in his class?

Are you a parent who is constantly complaining about your child’s behavior or eating habits to every person in your closed circle?

Have you ever criticized your child for not being the way you want them to be?

If answer to any of the above questions is

‘Yes’, then let me warn you, “You are not doing your child any favors by acting in this manner.”

You must be wondering, “What makes me say this?”

Lets dive in and find out

By now, you must have guessed that Poison that is ruining your relationship with your child.

Yes, you guessed it. It’s “COMPARISON”

Let me tell you few statements that most parents say to their kids casually without understanding its impact on child’s mind.

• You will never be as good as that other kid in your class.
• You will never be able to do it the way your sister or brother does it.
• You are so weak in Mathematics.
• You are such a lazy child.
• You never listen to me.
• You are becoming stubborn day by day.

Does this sound like you?

Common Be Honest.

We all do it.

Just Admit it.

You must be wondering, “How do I know?”

Keep reading and you’ll find out

Appreciating a toddler comes easy to every parent, but as the child grows, they start to compare their child’s progress with other children around them.

When a child is too young, he or she is the “apple of the eye” for the entire family. Everyone in the family accepts and appreciates whatever the toddler does. But as the child grows, from toddler to adolescence and from adolescence to a teenager, parents start to find faults, complain and criticize their child’s behavior, eating habits and so on.

Most parents are constantly worried about their teenagers. They constantly have arguments with teenagers related to the choices they make, their dressing style, their food habits and the list goes on.

Ever wondered why?

Now let’s dig a little deeper and understand how child’s mind functions:

 From the moment a child is born until the age of five, he or she knows nothing about himself or herself.

What you tell them about themselves shapes their self-image.

The truth is that the child believes my mother knows everything about me, such as when I am hungry, my likes and dislikes, and so on.

Let’s say for instance, when you child is 4 years old and he learns to read and write. He is bound to make mistakes, and if the teacher constantly compares him or her with other children in the class and at home you also constantly compare him or her with other siblings, then the child will get the feeling that he cannot write or read properly at all.

The fact is the child thinks my mother knows everything about me like when I feel hungry, what are my likes and dislikes and so on. So, if my mother thinks I won’t be able to read or write properly, it has to be true. The child’s thought process is not resistant to your words. The child receives your words exactly as they are.

Needless to say, a child’s mind absorbs everything. It absorbs anything you tell to a child and starts to believe it. It’s as if you’re showing them a mirror.

In this way, parents shape their children’s Self-Image.

Let me say this straight, Parents are the most significant people in their children’s lives.

Your words possess the power to make or break a child. You have been given the power of molding your child into a CEO or a criminal.

Fact is Comparison is the biggest factor that has the power to make or break your child. It all depends on how you compare and how your child perceives it. The way you communicate with your children has an impact on them, and how the child interprets this comparison is also dependent on the child.

Let’s see few examples to understand it in a better way:

If you tell your child that since the other child can score well in certain subject, then you can also score well. Then this is a type of Healthy Comparison. You are actually inspiring your child to improve with your communication.

On the contrary, if you tell your child that other children are much better than you, you are never going to make progress as much as them, then this is Unhealthy Comparison.

This Unhealthy Comparison also depends on how a child perceives it.

If he or she already has a low self-esteem, then this unhealthy comparison will add more fuel to the fire. It is going to weaken the self-image of your child.

You are giving your child more references in believing that he or she is weak as compared to other kids. This will create a weak self-Image of your child.

Believe it or not “YOU are digging your own grave.”

When you say such statements to your child, then the child doesn’t stop loving you, but he or she stops loving himself or herself.

Sound silly?

 It’s not.

What worse you know, you just don’t stop at Comparison.

Comparison is followed by Criticism and Complaining.

Think I’m exaggerating?

Not really, no.

So, stick with me here and let me show you how your child becomes either Submissive or Arrogant.

Until the age of 5, the child listens to you and behaves accordingly, but in his further growing years, you start to notice the behavioral changes in your child.

You may notice that your child doesn’t take interest in studies, he or she doesn’t behave well with his or her siblings, or other children in the class or your surroundings, and so on.

You feel as if you’re banging your head against a wall.

So, what can you do about it?

Here’s all you have to do is

Avoid Criticism, Comparison and Complaining to strengthen your bond with your child.

It’s easy, isn’t it?

Still not convinced?

Let me show the horrifying side of Criticism

Criticism acts like a slow Poison. It will disempower your child and it will ruin the relationship between you and your child.

If you criticize your child regularly, then you are giving a slow poison to your child. You won’t be able to notice the changes at once. But as the child grows, you will start noticing the behavioral changes and as the child reaches puberty, he or she may turn into Arrogant or Submissive teenager.

Bang! This hits you like a ton of bricks.

It feels like you’re in a never-ending battle.

Don’t worry, there’s a solution.

I’m going to show you how you can stop criticizing and comparing your child and ruining your sacred relationship.

All your child need is Unconditional Love and Acceptance.

Start applying the 3 As with your children and see them bloom like flowers.

Would you like to know the 3 As?

Attention, Acceptance and Appreciation

Want to see how it works right now?

Ready?

So here we go

I’ll walk you through the whole process.

When you compare your child, your attention is on some other child and not on your own child.

When you criticize your child, that means you don’t accept him or her as he or she is.

When you complain about your child, it conveys the message that you don’t appreciate his or her presence in your life.

By now you’ll have realized that how your children feel when the most important people in their life: PARENTS  don’t give attention, constantly criticize and complain endlessly.

Reality is, you don’t complain, criticize, or compare once in your life. You do it on a daily basis without understanding its effect on your child’s Self-Image.

Don’t measure your self-worth with someone else’s ruler.

This simply means that don’t compare yourself or your child to anyone. Every child is gifted with unique talents and capabilities. Be grateful for talents and gifts your child possess and try to enhance them

From this quote, we can understand that, If the flower is not blooming properly, then we don’t criticize or blame the flower rather we try to change its environment, that is we may keep it in shade, or reduce the amount of water, or change the quality of fertilizers. Similarly, if your child is not behaving properly, then change the way you communicate with them, try to understand the reason behind their behavior.

Trust me. It’ll all be worth it.

Now make it happen.

Good luck and I’d love to know your thoughts